“God, humble me.”
“I want to be just like the proverbs 31 woman!”
Two weeks later I sit here typing up this blog post feeling so small. So humbled and so in love with God.
I’ll tell you now….it wasn’t easy and I still have much to grow in.
I knew these kinds of prayers were big things to ask of God, so why did I expect not to see my life complicated? Why did I take my eyes off Him and start thinking anxiously when things were taken from me and I felt lonely?
Prayers of this nature are not for the faint of heart.
Will I still love God if He takes things away from me?
Am I holding on to idols?
Is my attention focused on God or my desires?
These prayers literally broke me. But what a wonderful thing that is!
The Lord is near to those who have a broken and contrite heart! (See Psalm 51:17 and Psalm 34:18)
I struggled to understand why so many people were moving forward with life–getting jobs, living the “adult” life and doing things on their own—and God didn’t seem to want me to go beyond the borders of my rough neighborhood and leave my parents’ house even though He knew I was having a hard time. When my plans to move out and move on fell through I was crushed.
But that’s where the problem started. That was MY plan, not God’s.
Would I still love Him if he took that possibility away from me?
If you are a Christian you have likely heard it said over and over again–“God will work it out for good. Trust Him.” (See Romans 8:28)
It is said so often it almost goes right through us and we nod our heads so the person talking would know we understand.
But do we really understand?
For me, I stood for as long as I could, but it didn’t take long for me to look at my crumbling world and tremble.
But He is faithful even when I am not. (See 2 Timothy 2:13)
Through my difficulties He showed me the work He was doing through me. It wasn’t going to be easy, yet He would not let me fall.
It was a very tough two weeks. God is good. He worked so much in my life in those two weeks praying those prayers and I didn’t realize until the end of it that I was growing so much. I messed up at times, sure. I got upset and didn’t react in the best ways all the time. I’ve got much to grow in, but I can confidently say I have indeed grown a lot in two weeks simply getting on my knees every morning and praying, “Lord, humble me.”
Will you pray that God would humble YOU?