I’ve been a Christian for 8 years! 

May 18, 2007 was the day I got saved! Giving my life to Christ was the best decision I ever made! I have had my ups and downs like everyone but have had my faith to keep me in check. 

The first three months of this year were perhaps some of the hardest months of my life. My trust in God was wavering because I was just seeing situations in my life go from bad to worse and had no feeling of control over anything. I was forgetting what God had brought me through in the past and fearing for my future. 

About a month ago I confessed this anxiety to a close friend and asked her to keep me in prayer and keep me accountable. I committed to changing my attitude from that of worry to praise and faith. 

Praise God! Things have definitely been better…all because God is faithful and I’ve changed my attitude! 

I will link the post explaining all of this at the end 

I won’t let anxiety bring me down the rest of the year or the rest of my life. Today I celebrate the day God turned my whole life around and commit to staying on course and remember the goodness of the Lord everyday! 

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. (‭Lamentations‬ ‭3‬:‭22-26‬ NIV)




Anxiety and Anger=Sin

I can keep asking why or…

Now a year and five days since I graduated from college I have two options…I can keep asking God why I am where I am right now or just trust Him. Obviously I’m not where I imagined I would be, but God has me here for a reason.

I can keep asking God why I’ve only been able to work part time jobs on and off and have been turned away by every full time writing job I’ve interviewed for

Or I can trust God that he has something great in store for me that goes beyond all those jobs are offering me. 

I can ask Him why I couldn’t just stay near my college and enjoy life out there instead of coming home after graduation

Or I can trust that he has me back at home for a reason…one reason being that there are people in my area who need to hear the gospel. My family also needs me at home right now for a number of reasons

I can ask God why a year later I’m just now getting my life together

Or thank Him that I passed my permit test and my brother and sister are both up for teaching me to drive so I can take the test to get my license and thank Him that I rediscovered my desire to teach and am looking to apply to grad school and hope to become an English teacher 

I can keep looking inwardly at my fears and worries or focus on God and his goodness. I have a choice. This time, unlike last summer when I was scared and doubted God could ever do anything to get me out of my rut, I can choose to look to Him and know everything he has me going through is for a reason. He will NEVER ever leave me and he never has! 

     For the Lord loves the just and will not forsake his faithful ones. Wrongdoers will be completely destroyed; the offspring of the wicked will perish. (‭Psalm‬ ‭37‬:‭28‬ NIV)

     When the poor and needy seek water, and there is none, and their tongue is parched with thirst, I the Lord will answer them; I the God of Israel will not forsake them.         (Isaiah‬ ‭41‬:‭17‬ ESV)

I am choosing to look to Christ in all things.  

April Favorites 

Doing Favorites posts is never something I’m sure about. Whenever I post something I have to be 100% sure it means something. 

But the point of this blog is also to be open and honest about myself.

So I’ll start with my first favorite from April:

Gilmore Girls

  

I started watching this show on Netflix and loved the episodes I have seen so far (all of season one of seven). After talking to a friend who has seen the entire series and seeing reruns from later seasons I’m not sure if I will continue to watch the show. The characters start to make bad decisions and it takes the show from a comedy-drama to more of a simple young adult drama that comes off almost like a soap opera. The first season was sweet and charming. I’m not sure I’ll go past season three (before intelligent teen Rory goes to college and starts acting crazy). I will commend Lauren Graham’s (who stars as single mom Lorelai) performance though. She plays her character so well. I enjoy the pop culture references! 

Next, the snack I munched on while watching Gilmore Girls or reading:

Tilla-Moos Colby Jack

  

Each individually wrapped slice of cheese right out of the fridge paired well with my tv time! It is delicious and not messy. I highly recommend it for relaxing times like watching TV or reading. 

Now for something beauty related. Kind of..

Warm and Cozy by Pink

  

While out shopping with the same friend who talked to me about Gilmore Girls, we walked into the Pink by Victoria’s Secret store (less underwear, more work out attire for anyone who didn’t know the difference between this store and the main one) and I picked out a small bottle of perfume and lotion in the same scent- Warm and Cozy. It smells so fresh and clean and is not too overpowering. The lotion dried my skin out a little, but I like the perfume. Very pretty scent! 

That’s it for this month! 

Thanks for reading! 

Jesus was born to save! -Matthew 1:18-21

Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows: when His mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child by the Holy Spirit. And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, planned to send her away secretly. But when he had considered this, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife; for the Child who has been conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit. She will bear a Son; and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.” (‭Matthew‬ ‭1‬:‭18-21‬ NASB)

Are late bloomers too late? 

For the past couple weeks I have heard people tell me that I have really grown into my looks and I’ve blossomed into a glowing confidence since I decided to cut my hair above my shoulders (May 2014) and leave it curly instead of straightening it like I had for a while. 

Okay, I’ll admit, the compliments are nice. But the acceptance of the compliments quickly turned into a question. “So….what did these people think of my appearance before all the change? Was I ugly?”

  

January 2014

The question bordered on insecurity. Then it turned into a sadness. How many girls around the world are getting told or are being made to feel like they are not pretty? How many girls struggle with their past because they used to be “ugly?”

But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” (‭1 Samuel‬ ‭16‬:‭7‬ NASB)

Often cited to make a case for the biblical practice of looking inwardly at a person’s heart as a true view of their character and value, this verse has been one I’ve thought about often. 

I post pictures on my Instagram account of the things that matter to me. There are pictures of me and my friends, things I like, bible passages and more. I’ve noticed that my “pretty” pictures have gotten more likes then the passages. Same thing on Facebook. Those passages mean more to me than any picture I put up because those passages are posted to uplift others. The passages I post are those that have helped me through tough weeks, overcome a former way of thinking and over all helped me grow closer to my savior. 

 

Summer 2014 haircut 

Recently I’ve been studying driving rules in order to take my permit test. Yes…I said permit test. If you’ve been reading my posts for a while you know I’m not 16…in fact I’m ten years older than that. I’ve been delayed in getting my license for a number of reasons, but I’m finally getting it done now. Some people see this as “overdue.”

I have also been asked a lot of questions I haven’t gotten in years recently. I think it has something to do with the “pretty pictures…”

Do you have a boyfriend?

Which I answer. And that leads to

You’re 26 and you’ve never had a boyfriend? What are you waiting for?

Which eventually leads to statements like

So I know this guy who is really nice and cute…would you let me set you up on a date with him? 

And 

I told this guy about you…told him you guys should meet. Might as well, right? I mean, since you’ve never had a boyfriend.

With driving and dating I’m surprised and saddened by the comments. Again, I think about other girls…so called late bloomers who are insecure with their appearance or are too afraid to learn to drive or do other things for whatever reason. Girls who were ignored growing up because they weren’t attractive and are suddenly getting attention and don’t know what to do. 

Late bloomer…

What a worldly concept. 

It angers me, really.

If a girl isn’t up to a certain standard by a certain age (has a dating  history before 22, drives a car by 18, has a full time job by 25, and has a physically appealing face before starting college for example) she gets lumped into that category…

Late bloomer…

Where is God in all of this? What about his sovereignty? What about the fact that we are called to build one another up (And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. (‭Hebrews‬ ‭10‬:‭24-25‬ ESV)? Is not God working in each of our lives? 

So I didn’t follow the standards I was expected to at each stage of my life. So others had the same experience. God worked it out that way. We got to those points in our lives when we did because He made it so. Some girls aren’t there yet. So what? God is working in them and they are exactly where they need to be.

Late bloomer…

  

Current look

I pray that people would be more careful about the kinds of comments they tell girls and stop focusing on the outward appearance because God looks at the heart. We should too.

If we had forgotten the name of our God Or extended our hands to a strange god, Would not God find this out? For He knows the secrets of the heart. (‭Psalms‬ ‭44‬:‭20-21‬ NASB)

“I, the LORD, search the heart, I test the mind, Even to give to each man according to his ways, According to the results of his deeds. (‭Jeremiah‬ ‭17‬:‭10‬ NASB)

Girls, you aren’t late bloomers. God is working in you. You are growing in His timing. Perfect timing. You are and always will be beautiful because you were made in His image! God Bless You! 



Instagram 

 

How to view your mountains

This excerpt is from a Bible app plan I am going through (Streams in the Desert Reading Plan). It was a great encouragement to me a reminder that all we as believers have been through and all we will go through serves God’s greater purposes for each of our lives. 

God will make our obstacles serve his purposes. We all have mountains in our lives, and often they are people and things that threaten to block the progress of our spiritual life. The obstacles may be untruths told about us; a difficult occupation; “a thorn in [the] flesh” (2 Corinthians 12:7); or our daily cross. And often we pray for their removal, for we tend to think that if only these were removed, we would live a more tender, pure and holy life.

“How foolish you are, and how slow to believe … !” (Luke 24:25). These are the very conditions we need for achievement, and they have been put in our lives as the means of producing the gifts and qualities for which we have been praying so long. We pray for patience for many years, and when something begins to test us beyond our endurance, we run from it. We try to avoid it, we see it as some insurmountable obstacle to our desired goal, and we believe that if it was removed, we would experience immediate deliverance and victory.

This is not true! … The only way genuine patience can be acquired is by enduring the very trials that seem so unbearable today. 

Turn from your running and submit. Claim by faith to be a partaker in the patience of Jesus and face your trials in him. There is nothing in your life that distresses or concerns you that cannot become submissive to the highest purpose. Remember, they are God’s mountains. He puts them there for a reason, and we know he will never fail to keep his promise.

From Christ in Isaiah, by F. B. Meyer

God Bless You, my friends! 

Anxiety and Anger = Sin

For as long as I can remember, I have been an anxious person. Every little thing scared me. Death was the thing I feared most and I often had very disturbing thoughts about it. Of course, after becoming a Christian in high school I didn’t fear death like I did when I was younger because I knew that I would go to heaven and be with Jesus. 

Still, after giving my life to Christ there were still some things that needed some change in my life. I brought some things over into my new life and wrestled with them. One of those things was lustful thoughts.

Not long after my college graduation last year I became really sad. Depressed actually. I just felt I was being bad towards God. 

My mom took me to a Backstreet Boys concert as a gift to me for graduating at the end of May. She wondered why I was so out of it that night. I mean, this is my favorite band and we had great seats! I should have been so happy. Yet, even the band couldn’t cheer me up. The next morning I found myself weeping…in fact moaning and groaning over my sin, sitting down like a small child and repeatedly saying sorry to God. 

Later that day I called up two girl friends I trusted and told them what I’d been going through and asked them to pray for me and keep me accountable.The next few months were wonderful. It’s been almost a year and I am doing well. My thoughts with sexuality are in check. 

But something else has come to my attention as a problem that needs to be dealt with. 
Anxiety.
For years I defended it. I claimed it as my own. I used it as an excuse. I held on to it. 
I now know it is a problem and a sin and doesn’t belong in my life. 
See, I could go a few weeks to a month or two and be fine emotionally and manage well. Then something would happen- an event, a thought, a craving, whatever and I would fall apart and not be able to function. I don’t eat, I don’t sleep well and I’m angry. Really, really angry. And I think to myself- “wow, I must be so bad that God would do this to me..” “He is probably still punishing me for all the lust stuff…” “I’m going to die like this- miserable and without accomplishing anything in life- I just took up precious space and did nothing important with my life, so why did he even create me.”
Oh yeah, it would get THAT bad.
True, I’ve had a lot of painful things happen to me growing up- I’ve been bullied, abandoned by friends and heartbroken by boys, all the while anxiety making those things much, much worse than they were.
Becoming a Christian should have changed that, but no one told me I had a problem…because I didn’t tell anyone I had a problem. Just like the lust thing, I swept this one under the rug for a long time before confessing it and making a promise to change. 
I prayed about this the other night and God put a friend on my heart. I texted her the following morning and she called me back a few minutes later to let me know she would be keeping me accountable and praying for me. Here’s what I sent her:
Hey, Milly! I hope you are well! 
I was praying about something last night and the Lord brought you to my mind. 
So, last summer, not long after I graduated I found myself crying because I realized I had been continuing to sin against God with a way that I was thinking about things. I was allowing my thoughts to go into ungodly territory, basically. I remembered James 5:16-Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. 
And decided to confess my sin to two trusted Christian girl friends. They prayed for me and kept me accountable and I’ve since been free of that sin. 
Anxiety does not honor and glorify the Lord and it’s been causing me much grief.
I have been an anxious person for as long as I can remember. It paralyzed me. As a kid I was afraid of a lot of things. In my teens it affected me so much I had to take medication. Since the start of this year I have struggled to keep my thoughts in line with the word of God and trust Him. I’ve had a lot of things happen to me growing up and I’m haunted by a lot of painful things, so I tend to be afraid. Afraid of getting hurt, afraid of failing…
I know God is powerful and I remind myself of His grace daily, but anxieties still cripple me and I know it is sinful. 
Would you keep me accountable as I pray and work on this so that I can be free of anxiety once and for all? 
I really do thank you for being my friend and praying for me. I’m so blessed to have you in my life! God Bless You, my friend! ❤️❤️❤️
So now that I know, from now on I will fight, not fall for those thoughts or feelings, but stand firm in the truth. 

  • When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. (‭Psalm‬ ‭34‬:‭17-19‬ ESV)
  • Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. (‭James‬ ‭1‬:‭12‬ ESV)
  • fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (‭Isaiah‬ ‭41‬:‭10‬ ESV)
  • A fool always loses his temper, But a wise man holds it back. (‭Proverbs‬ ‭29‬:‭11‬ NASB)
  • My soul, wait in silence for God only, For my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation, My stronghold; I shall not be shaken. On God my salvation and my glory rest; The rock of my strength, my refuge is in God. (‭Psalms‬ ‭62‬:‭5-7‬ NASB)
Will YOU keep me accountable? 
I would appreciate your prayers. 
Are you struggling with anxiety? Leave me a comment and I will keep you in prayer. 
I love you guys. Thank you for your support and prayers. They mean a lot to me. 
God Bless You all. :)